Over the pandemic, I learned how to use and record music in GarageBand and Ableton Live.
Below you'll find a selection of songs that I recorded in my bedroom between 2020 - 2022, a feat that came after battling a lot of personal insecurity and reckoning with my own mortality during the pandemic. If technology serves me well, you'll find my music embedded below and on Soundcloud here.
Many of these songs were written automatically in a few takes so you'll notice a multitude of imperfections. I originally wrote most of my earlier songs while my Music Therapist was on maternity leave. I did not originally intend to share these songs with anyone but my therapist but I was pleasantly surprised with what I had made and decided to quietly put it on Soundcloud to share with friends and online ghosts. It took me two years to get the courage to put my music on my website (b/c anxiety.)
Creating music is a source of empowerment, even if I don't know exactly what a song means or why I feel the drive to express what I do. I let my subconscious do the talking while I sing. Through this process, words form and I try to step out of the way to see what comes through intuitively. When you make music and art just for you, that you don't originally intend to share, you get to be messy and unhinged.
I find a lot of courage and power from sharing what feels secret to me because I have a desire to connect to something greater than myself, to experience cathartic moments in the company of others who aren't afraid to be vulnerable and make mistakes and be imperfect.
Practicing Tarot was once secret for me, as creating music has mostly been. That's why my band of one is called Star Card. It's an indulgence in a musical drive that I've alway had but never thought I was "good enough" to do—whatever that even means!
So I decided to do it anyway.
Thanks for listening. ~:-)